Step 1

About 3 weeks ago I scheduled an appointment to see my Oncologist so that I could get my 5 year CT scan.  This is usually the last one and if it comes back clean, you are said to be in full remission of cancer.  I was about 3 months over due so I relented to Noelle's "reminders" and got the appointment to see Dr. Njuguna.  For some reason I was hesitant to get this last CT scan.  I'm not sure why, but I finally gave in.  Did you know that if you are one of the lucky 0.4% of people to have testicular cancer, you have a 2% chance of having cancer in the other testicle at some point in your life?  If my math is right, that means a random person has a 1 in 12,500 or 0.008% of joining the 2X club.  I should buy more lottey tickets.

About 3-4 days before the meeting I noticed something while in the shower.  It was just a small irregularity on my left testicle but definatly there.  I stood in the shower for what seemed like an hour trying to convince myself that it was nothing but I was too scared to examine it any farther. There are quite a few types of tumors/growths/masses that can be found on the testes so I tried hard not to worry too much.  But deep down I knew.
The day before my appointment I got up the courage to tell Noelle.  This girl is really good at hiding her feelings, especially if she is scared or worried, but I can always tell.  She was optimistic and glad that I was seeing the doctor on the following day.  Dr. Njuguna ordered an ultrasound and a CT scan to take place early the next week.  Exactly one week later he came in the same room, sat down at the computer and said "Ok, lets start from the top"  That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear but I was prepared, or so I thought.

We went over the ultrasound first.  Ultraound is extremely useful for imaging soft tissue and is the 1st thing a doctor will order if there is a question of a testicular tumor.  It is pretty ridiculously uncomfortable if you ask me.  Slightly awkward with the ultrasound gel and typically some young female ultrasound technician.  Anyways, its a medical nessecity, moving on... The ultrasound showed two distinct tumors.. not good.  There is no physical way to biopsy a testicular tumor, I knew this, so I knew immediately what that meant.  More surgery for Adam, woohoo!  The 1st time around there was no real change in lifestyle, you can live with one testicle just fine.  I have proof that one chemo-surviving solo-mission boy is all you need to live a completely healthy life and have a beautiful family.  But another surgery meant something completely different 1) for the rest of my life I will have to give myself testosterone injections every 2 weeks and 2)we are done having children naturally.  Bummer...
The second bit of bad news.  On the CT image they saw another tumor on the lower lobe of my right lung.. not good.  My stomach dropped, my heart was in my throat.  I can handle testicular cancer, I've already beat it once.  The chemo sucked but I can handle that as well.  I blocked out what the doctor was saying because the thoughts in my head ran together a little like this... Lung cancer? What the...?  Is this because of the testicular cancer?  We can't sell the house now, Noelle will be so bummed...  I'm supposed to go to Minneapolis for two weeks in a few days... Has it metastasized to anywhere else?  Oh, Noelle... oh man, Brynnley.... oh my goodness... The baby.... Am I even going to get to meet this baby?  This can't be happening, hes got to be wrong.  Focus, focus, focus...... @*&$!!!  I've basically had the same thought pattern going on and on since I found out.  It mentally exhausting and plays with your emotions like crazy.  It's going to be very tough to stay positive but it's a lot easier with the support of family, friends and total strangers, so thanks :-). 

He showed me the image and I could clearly see a small white lump in the bottom of my right lung that was obviously not supposed to be there.  It's less than 1cm in diameter but whatever it is, its there.  He didn't have any answers but tried to keep my from worrying because there is so much that is unknown.  He set me up for PET/CT scan soon after surgery.  More on that later, but a PET/CT scanner is designed to look specifically for fast growing tumor cells so it would tell us if this spot could be cancer.

Surgery with the Urologist, Dr. Golden was scheduled for Monday Sept 20th and a PET/CT was scheduled for the 21st.  More tomorrow.