Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Long week

It's official, I've turned into a complete and utter emotional wreck.  This has been a really rough week.  Thankfully my dad took the time the come and spend a few days.  I was basically in my bed for the entirety but he got to spend a lot of time with his grandaughter and I know it helped ease the strain from Noelle so we were very, very grateful.  The nausea has been under control but the combination of acid reflux/heartburn and just uneasieness from the drugs has taken a tole.  I haven't slept more than an hour since I think Saturday night.  The doc perscribed my some Ambien for tonight, so I'm really hoping that allows me some rest.  Thats all I want is some unhindered sleep......  The restleness just allows my mind to race and it is not fun. 

Back to the emotional wreck thing... My buddy Jason was trying really hard to get me to fly to Dallas where he would pick me up and go to the A&M/OU game about a week and a half ago.  As much I wanted to, I just wasn't in the state to do it.  Then, in the midst of my brutal week or chemo infusions, I get a package from my buddy Jason.  4 Aggie t-shirt (Adam, Noelle, Brynnley and baby) and two bottles of the great Freebirds death sauce.  I pretty much lost it the second I saw the death sauce, lol. 

Then, my family apparently thinks its really funny to see me cry lately or something.  One of the hardest things about dealing with this, and specificially dealing with chemotherapy, is that I honestly feel completely alone.  I know for a fact that I'm not but sitting in bed for hours on end, with no relief and with nothing that anyone can physically do for you; that can put you in a pretty dark place.  My wife would do absolutely anything to ease my pain and take away anything she could and I know she is always with me.  I don't feel abandonded or anything like that, its just very difficult to describe.  Last night my dad tells me to get on Skype because they have a surprise for me and my mom wants to be on Skype to see when I get it.... great.... 

You all know about the blue wristbands and how cool I think I they are.  Well, my goofy siblings once again..... I say hi to my mom on the computer and my dad walks in with this framed picture.....  I vaguley even remembering getting off the computer because I was so taken by this picture.  I tried to make it as big as possible so hopefully some people can see themselves and realize how cool this is for me.  I know I'm not alone and now I have something to look at to prove it.  I know a lot pictures didn't make it into this collage, but it was all my dad had room for at the moment.  If you don't know see your picture, don't worry, I know you're out there :-) All I can say is thanks

7 comments:

browerfamily said...

that is so cool. Brought tears to my eyes. We're not on there, but we're wearing them :) Please let me know if I can do anything...

Dave and Debbie said...

This is so cool! Camie really did a nice job putting so many pictures together and collecting them all.
Adam, You are never alone. We are all here for you. Heavenly Father loves you and is always with you too. Turn to Him, His peace and comfort will help you through this.
Love you!

Bomma said...

A friend in my ward told me about your site! Thanks for sharing your story, you are touching lives in ways you will never know. Turns out I know your family - I remember how awesome they are and with prayers like that coming your way, you can't help but be blesed!

Gayle Lambert said...

What a great picture. I know you will find strength from it. It's amazing how the support of family and friends can help one get through a time like this. But most importantly, Heavenly Father will give you amazing strength if you continue to ask. See you in a few days! I love you Adam.

April Austin said...

Hi Adam. You don't know me, but I know the rest of your family. I'm sure you are just as amazing as they are. I read through your blog and I am so impressed with your strength and courage. I'm sorry for the pain and discomfort you and your family must be going through. My heart and prayers are with you!

J Gunter said...

That is so awesome!! Having the support and prayers of so many people are what get us through our trials! Stay strong Adam! Where can we get bracelets?

Dave and Debbie said...

We still have plenty of bracelets. Email me and I will send some to you. dallen1112@gmail.com