Snip, snip, snip...

Keeping on top of a blog is a very difficult thing to do.  It would seem that with so much going on I would have a lot to write about, but I've found it extremely difficult to motivate myself to write.  Its almost been a week since I've updated the blog yet my goal was to write everyday.  I have a lot of respect for those that maintain regular blog entries that are insightful and interesting.  Once again, I'm going to try to be better.  Maybe I'll be able to string together 2 or maybe even three days in a row this time! 

As a quick update....  My last depressing blog entry saw me writing at 4am in a hospital bed feeling worse than I've probably ever felt in my life.  After two uncomfortable days at home my GI system finally got situated and I've felt essentially normal since then.  I've lost almost all muscle definition and I get tired easily but thats more due to me sitting on the couch for the last 5 weeks with surgery/chemo than anything.  I quit taking all medications on Thursday last week and have felt great since.  I've eaten a completely normal diet which helps me a lot because unfortunately I really love good food :-).  We are very hopeful that the drug regimen I will be on for the 2nd cycle of chemo will be better.  Anything will be better, so we're optimistic.

I was going to talk about my Texas homesickness but its already getting late and I wanted to share what we did tonight instead.  So Texas tomorrow, for sure.

Noelle was at work today so I got to spend the day with my little girly.  She's so much fun, it was an awesome day.  I think her favorite thing to do right now is read books.  She's two and half so reading involves getting every book she owns and flipping through each page and then stacking the books back up.  Its so cute!  It makes me happy and hopeful that she will love learning like her mommy and daddy do.  While I was spending time with her, I started noticing that each time I would run my fingers through my hair, I would come away with 10-15 strands of hair.  I knew that I was going to lose my hair but it gives you a sick feeling in your stomach.  I don't know if its the reality that chemo has once again taken my hair and I will be bald or the fact that there are poisons inside me that are slowly killing my cells.  To be honest, I'm grateful that I'm loosing my hair because that means the chemo is doing its job.  If there are any other little devilish cancer cells floating through my body, the chemo is killing them as well.  At the same time, its a little scary.  When I went through chemo in 2005, I ran my hand through my hair one day and literally came down with an entire handful of hair.  I was really close to getting sick when that happened, it was such a shock.  This time I knew that day was coming so I was a little more prepared.  We went ahead and did away with the rest my hair on our own terms, with clippers, lol.  So here's the pictures.  Noelle wanted to have a little fun halfway through, apparently she digs guys with mohawks, I'm not sure what that is all about ;-)

Pumpkin carving with hair on Halloween. This picture is proof that my daughter stole my eyes...

My new work headshot!

"You're head feels so funny daddy!!"

A big thanks once again to my lovely wife for shaving my head.  It's definitely colder with no hair so this winter should be interesting.  Thanks to Noelle we are already prepared with 3-4 brand new beanies for me to wear so hopefully the cold won't be an issue. 

There's one other thing I need to mention.  Through the this whole process I have been blown away by the support that has been shown to my wife and I.  I honestly don't know how to handle it.  I fumble with words and am dumbfounded with how to show my thanks.  In the last picture, I'm wearing a dark blue elastic wristband thing.  For those of you who don't know or who aren't wearing one, that is my wristband.  By mine, I mean it was made for me.  It says, "UNITED WITH ADAM  PROVERBS 3:5"  My siblings came up with the idea.  I don't know if they remembered or if it was coincidence but that is probably my favorite all time scripture.  "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."  There are now well over a thousand of these bracelets and they are all over the place.  From friends in church to people at work to friends of friends across the country to my Biomedical Engineering department at Texas A&M.  I realize it is just an elastic wristband, but I'm so completely blown away with it that I don't even know what to say when I see friends or family wearing them.  It's really hit me pretty hard and gives me a lot of strength.  Thanks Camie and Bret and Drew, you guys are amazing!

So, you see much this little bracelet has affected me, imagine how I've felt watching as my younger brothers Bret and Drew, my brother-in-law Matt, my nephew Ryan and my old room mate John have shaved their heads.  I don't even know how to express the way I feel about that.  I love you guys!  I can be nothing but positive when I know that all these people are standing with me.  They would do absolutely anything for me and I really am seeing that.  Thank you so much to all those who offer comments on my blog, who bring us meals and offer to watch Brynnley and those who silently pray for us.  We feel it all and it lifts us up.  We are so grateful!